The holidays in the newspaper business force early deadlines, unfortunately. The Fat Guy is writing this early Sunday morning due to the fact I have no common sense. The no common sense part comes because, for some unknown reason, I am heading to Ford Field. Why am I heading to Ford Field? It’s because I have tickets to watch the worst organization in sports: The Detroit “Always Lie Down” Lions. How can any fan be excited to watch these choke artists play the New York Giants, I ask? Here is one reason to go. I am not letting three $100 tickets sit atop my dresser and go to waste. I also have never gotten to watch Eli Manning play in person, so that’s a positive.
However, my biggest reason for going is to watch the worthless Jim Schwartz coach his last home game as the Detroit Lions head coach. If he isn’t fired at the end of this debacle of a coaching job, he never will be fired. He is so out-coached week in and week out it’s not even laughable anymore.
Jimmy’s press conferences are laughable as he gives the smart alec answers to the questions. Mr. Schwartz has the most talent in the NFC North and does the least with it. This team should have had this division locked up two weeks ago. The pitiful penalties and mistakes are repeats week after week. I am sick of it, as are most Lions fans, I do believe. Aren’t you sick of it?
Let’s also factor in that there are numerous coaches who would love to take over this talented Lions roster. The previous years, this was a reclamation project that needed serious help in the talent department. That is not the case now. The talent is there.
I can think of numerous coaches
I could go for. How about Lovie Smith? He knows the NFC North division like the back of his hand. Gary Kubiak is an offensive genius who would love to tweak this offense. What if Tom Coughlin or Mike Shanahan become available? I could live with all of these choices. Anyone is better than Jimmy “Fake field goal,” ” No time Out Using” Schwartz. Bye bye, I hope, Jimmy, after this Giants game on Sunday. The Fat Guy is not going to miss you one bit. One more thing: sorry to all my family who are receiving Lions gear from me. It was all half price after the loss to Baltimore. Bah, humbug!
The Fat Guy’s wish list for Santa Claus in the world of sports: The Tigers to make a World Series in 2014 and win the thing under new coach Brad Ausmus. The Michigan State Spartans to head out to Pasadena, California and represent the Big Ten in stellar fashion. Please let the Spartans bring home a victory in the 100th Rose Bowl Game. They sure did wait a long time to make a return visit to the Rose Bowl, so make the wait worthwhile. Michigan to win the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl and have a better season next season. Oh, and Santa, a switch at the Michigan quarterback position would be nice in 2014. Devin Gardner needs to go. The Detroit Pistons to become more consistent on a night-in and night-out basis. They are headed in the right direction, they just need consistency. The Detroit Red Wings need to keep their consecutive playoff streak alive. Please send a doctor and help the Red Wings get healthy.
There will be no picks this week due to no odds on the games yet. I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays and for those of you who were naughty, Shame on You! firstname.lastname@example.org