Writing a weekly column isn’t always easy. I’ve spent many a late night staring at the computer screen waiting for the words to materialize before me. Sometimes they never do until I’ve racked my brain for hours, with nothing to show but a list of scratched off ideas.
Sitting in that same spot this week, pondering what to write, I decided I wanted to talk about myself. But honestly, who wants to hear about that? All and all I’m pretty boring but as I considered possible facts about myself I could share, I realized it was the perfect chance for some self-depreciating humor.
So here are the Top Five Things About Me You Didn’t Really Want to Know:
5.) Hair — When I was a kid I had my hair cut short, parted on the left side and that was the extent of “fashion.” In the 1970s I talked my folks into letting me grow it long and I ended up looking like a little girl.
I went back to the shorter cut but as the 1980s and my teenage years arrived, I had to have my hair feathered on the sides. Finally, as the 1990s arrived I grew a mullet. I have a memorable photo (maybe more like one I’d like to forget) of me interviewing then-Gov. John Engler at a town hall event with my long mullet and him giving me this look like “who’s the hippie.” Since cutting it short again, every attempt to grow it long produces an unkempt tangle of hair with white streaks through it like a skunk.
4.) Clothing — I’m not a fashion statement by any means. I prefer jeans. I wear my clothing until it’s ready to fall apart and I only wear ties when it’s absolutely necessary. I used to wear baseball caps to cover up bed head when I had to be somewhere on a weekend morning, but now prefer a stocking cap in winter or a bandana in summer. I hate polo shirts, three-piece suits and pretty much anything that isn’t black, white, gray or khaki.
3.) Movies — I have this annoying habit of memorizing the lines out of movies. I’m kind of like the Rain Man of movie lines. I can sit through some of my favorites and quote the film line-for-line, which means most people don’t like to watch movies I’ve seen with me. It’s a lonely world.
2.) Dogs like me — OK, not all dogs but most. I recently happened upon a therapy dog when I was out covering a story and the dog came up and let me pet it. Someone told me this dog always barks at men. For a moment I felt like Cesar Millan, the “Dog Whisperer.” Of course my cousin’s dog attacks me on sight, but I think it’s just because she considers me to be another dog. We bond like that — I pet her and she bites my arm. True love.
1.) I can’t stay up late anymore — When I was a kid I had a bedtime on school nights and I would lay in bed and stare at the ceiling because I couldn’t sleep. When I got older my folks let me stay up on Fridays and Saturdays as late asIwanted,whichresultedina2or3 a.m. bedtime.
As an adult I felt like sleep was a waste. When my daughter came along she decided I didn’t need sleep because she liked to wake up and be rocked until 3 or 4 a.m. Nowadays I’m exhausted if I stay up until 11 p.m. or midnight.
This must be what it’s like to get old. Drat!