I ’ve spent the summer collecting vanity plates. I find a lot of them, but I also get a lot of help from Anita, my son, and others who know I can make good use of them in my column.
Here’s some of my summer offerings with another round of vanity tags from cars seen here and abroad:
• CUZIDO — This carefree, laidback individual probably sums up his or her whole outlook on life. Why do you feel that way? ‘Cuz I do. The next closest explanation is they are a chef specializing in Portuguese or Spanish cuisine, where a dish called cozido is popular. I’m going with the first explanation.
• SKDMARK — Hopefully this is something the car leaves behind on the pavement, because the alternative is it’s something the driver leaves in his pants for wash day.
• HIKE IT — This tag was on a Land Rover and, to be honest, for as much money as such a vehicle costs, I’d better not have to hike anywhere if I’m behind the wheel.
• BOSZ LDY — A Corvette bearing this tag was on the road the other day and I say more power to her. She’s giving the orders, taking charge and having the midlife crisis the Boss Man usually has when he buys a Vette. That’s Equal Opportunity for you.
• LUV FB — Anita and I discussed this one the other night. We’re pretty sure FB stands for Facebook. Why someone would advertise this on a license plate, I’m not sure. The other possible meanings we derived from this were: Full Belly, Fast Brat, Fuzzy Bear, Finally Broke and several possibilities we decided could not be repeated in a column running in a family newspaper.
• NOKOUT — Knocked someone out so hard they actually broke off the letters “k” and “c.”
• THE BURB — On a Suburban. This car is so well-known it can just go by “The Burb” and you know what it is. Which leads me to another Suburban bearing the vanity tag of “BURBAN.” I assume it meant the vehicle it was on and not the drink consumed by the driver before he or she got behind the wheel.
LIVLFE — Live life to the fullest. A nice sentiment to share on a vanity plate. It isn’t, however, the last thing you’d want to see if you were suddenly in a rear-end collision with the back of this vehicle.
• LVNHIM — Could be the driver was expressing her love for her husband, or perhaps the HIM was God. Either way, a very touching tag.
• MRYTLE — Someone’s name perhaps, or a destination tag, possibly for Mrytle Beach?
• PAMCAKE — Instead of “pancake.” Funny except for Pam, who is a flattened disk of cooked batter. Poor Pam.
• D1MPLES — OK, we get it, you’re cute and you’re letting the whole world know you are cute with dimples on your cheeks or chin. A 16-year-old might opt for the vanity tag P1MPLES — which happens to be not so cute.