I t’s taken a couple months of scouting the county, looking high and low, but I have compiled a list of some new vanity license plates for my first installment of 2013.
My experience of tracking down good vanity plates over these past four years has shown me — other than the fact I may need a new hobby — that these plates are almost seasonal.
Most of the good ones, the really funny and witty ones, are attached to cars their owners won’t bring out in the winter time. Still, I’ve been able to cobble together a few good ones.
Here they are:
HPY25TH — This was attached to a sharp Camaro and I have to say at 25 years old a Camaro would have been the perfect birthday gift. In fact, I think it’s the gift that keeps on giving. At 46 it would also be cool, but would immediately be tagged as a “mid-life crisis” car.
IMACHEF — Didn’t know we were advertising professions now on our license plates. Thinking maybe about getting one of these labeled IMAEDITOR, or should that be IMANEDITOR? Or IAMANEDITOR. Now it’s just getting way too confusing.
SUWEEET — Probably what the person with the HPY25TH Camaro said when they got their gift. This is funny, I had to look and see if it was a guy I remember from a watering hole of mine who used to sit there, drink way too much and yell out “SUWEEET” all night long — thus prompting the rest of us to simply call him “The Sweet Guy.” It wasn’t him — thankfully.
MO CATS — If you need a license plate to explain you want “more cats” then maybe you already have enough felines in your home. I’m thinking ‘pet hoarder.’
STN1CK — Two months after Christmas as I spotted this. Apparently I discovered Santa Claus drives around on four-wheeled modes of transportation on the off-season.
4AUNTIE — I don’t remember the car this was one, but apparently ‘auntie’ was so pleased to be driving it, she was exercising bragging rights.
CHEECH2 — Far out man! I wondered as I drove past this car if the windows were going to open and smoke was going to come billowing out. It also left me wondering what happened to CHEECH1 and whether or not there’s a CHONG.
GOLFRAT — A rebel against the country club culture? I’m picturing a guy who carries his three golf clubs in a black trash bag while wearing tattered golf pants-cutoffs, a stained polo shirt and golf cleats with holes in them. A real Happy Gilmore-type.
MALABOO — Someone who owned a “Malibu” had a headache and gave the vanity plate application to their 6-year-old to fill out.
“Dad, how do you spell ‘Malibu’?” the child asked.
“I don’t know! Sound it out!”
MRSSEXC — I saw this on an SUV at the gas station the other day and I had to wonder — is there a matching plate on a man’s car out there called MRSEXC? And what if MRSSEXC becomes single and then remarries someone named “ANDIKNOWIT” (OK, hypothetically speaking here. Work with me on this because it’s already a stretch for someone’s last name to be SEXY).
Would she hyphenate? And no, I’m not going to spell it out for you if she did.